these are my car accident pants.

if i ever write books, that's going to be the title of one of them. walking down the stairs of doom, and my friend with a stiff neck and bruised shins says "christ, you guys, these are my car accident pants. and i totally forgot to wash them. this whole side of my leg is muddy".

i love her. and i can't believe the things that come out of this girl's mouth.

as a sidenote, im getting slightly better at arabic. which is impressive because my ameiya class is a joke. im a little frustrated about it. i mean, it's a million times better than the french instruction i got in paris, which was 3 hours a week (meaning virtually none). but here's the setup: i have roughly 3 hours a day of fous-ha, which is the formal language used by authors, theologians, and journalists. it is only spoken for speeches and recitations, never in everyday interaction. so i have 11 hours a week of fous-ha class, and 3 hours a week of ameiya. ameiya is the everyday language that everyone speaks. but i only have 3 hours of it per week, and the class is a total waste of time. all we do (EVERY DAY) is go over the pronouns (seriously? im in advanced arabic.) and conjugate as many verbs as possible. which, fyi, is completely and utterly useless. i should practice conjugating verbs, a lot. but i shouldnt be doing it in class. and we can all conjugate verbs all day long, but if we never practice using them in sentences (which is what we all need HELP with), we'll never be able to speak.

im really frustrated with it. i mean, i want to learn fous-ha. i really really want to be able to read and write, and listen to al-jazeera. but can we just pause for a second? i am in jordan. i live here. and i want to learn how to talk to the neighbors. not to read, or write, or anything else that i can learn in a classroom in the states. you can learn formal arabic anywhere. anywhere. all you need is a book and a teacher who knows a bit. that is NOT what i am here for. i wish i had 3 hours a day of learning how to interact with the people i see on the street. honestly? it'd ridiculous. and i am putting so so so much effort into learning this language, i dont know what else i can do. i go to vocab club once a week, i meet with a peer tutor, i have 12 hours a week of arabic classes plus 2 hours of listening lab. i watch al jazeera on the reg. i study. a lot. and im frustrated. because i feel like it's kind of hopeless. ive been here a month. the only people i can talk to really are taxi drivers because i have to do it twice a day, and vendors because the only words required are "how much?" "that's too expensive". and "ok". siiiiiiiiiiigh.

ok rant over, i promise. on a lighter note, i haven't stopped loving amman yet. i was supposed to not like it after 2 weeks, apparently. and the verdict is? love it more every day. i had a lemon off of our tree the other day, when it was hailing. it was amazing. and seedless? i didnt know that happened.

i'm also debating a gym membership. it's not expensive, like 90 JD for 3 months. which is a bit of money, but not for a gym membership. in amman, "gym membership" means something different than in the states; it means a gym, and a place where i can go running and not be stared at, and a hot shower whenever i want it (which is rare), and a sauna, and the ability to wear normal workout clothes (and, i hear, even shorts? i dont believe it. not that i would). and that all sounds really good. but a) it's money, and b) i have enough to do here. like way more than enough. and of course i could make time, it would be really nice to be able to exercise, since the only time i get to DO ANYTHING is scaling the stairs of death. so we'll see. i'll have to decide.

i look like a pirate today. apparently. that's what im told. i've developed the new and interesting habit of tying things to my head, mostly to hide whatever is wrong with me that day. like yesterday, didnt take a shower because i just couldnt make myself get up 20 minutes early to pour freezing water all over me. so my hair was less than cute. solution? no big deal, just tie some cloth around your head. not a lot, just like a thin scarf or something. like a giant headband. then, i did it today because my hair was wet. for those of you who aren't jordanian and haven't heard me complain about this previously, going outside with wet hair is a no-no here. it actually means you have just had sex, and people will assume such. this is a problem for me. because i go outside with my hair wet on the daily. dont even do anything to it, just dry it off and go. blowdrying? out of the question. but since "the blonde american-looking girl who obviously just had sex" is not really the image im trying to give off, i bought a blowdryer. but today i didnt have time, and i hate the thing anyway. so, again, solution? no big deal, just tie a scarf around my forehead so my wet hair is less noticeable. perfect. a funny side-effect of my take-a-year-to-expand-perspective plan is that when i get back to the states, i will have THE strangest clothing style. i mean as if that wasnt already true. but isla vista+paris+amman? = sundresses+peter pan boots+headscarves. you cant get weirder. watch out, chanel, im about to rock your world.

bought some flower seeds at the grocery store yesterday too. pretty excited about it. if you dont know why i would have done that, dont worry about it.

anyway, that's enough stream of consciousness for the day. im gonna go make food and try to be less horrible at talking to the neighbors.

arrrr.