volcano rocks at octopus o'clock

whose side are you on?
whose side is this, anyway?
put down your sword, come lay with me on the ground.

pearl bracelets and octopus o-clock, it is sunny here in the winter. there are no clouds, even, today. and i am here to be moved. so move me, if you will, or let somthing else do it instead. for me, there are no others, only unfamiliars.

there is an upside down trash can in my backyard. it's cracked from the sun, probably been there for years. it is right next to the volcano rock. i don't know where the volcano rock came from. i don't know where the trash can came from either, or why it is upside down in the backyard. when the flowers move, the wind moves them too quickly, and the world looks like a giant stream of photographs. fast-forward reality, like on planet earth. a flip book, maybe? i think i live in a flipbook, maybe, made by someone who wasn't quite sure how to make a flipbook. so you flip through it and the motion makes sense for a minute, and then all of a sudden the picture completely changes and you're lost. like they had to make 3 flipbooks for a 4th grade project and at the end they glued them all together. things change so fast, here. i wonder how many years longer the upside-down trash can will be in my backyard. i wonder how long this will still be my backyard.

strange thoughts, these days, she wonders what they are. it is strange to be happy because of real things (or less real things, depending how you look at it), and not just because we decided to be. and there is no drama here, not on the everyday. deep down, there are things here that are deeply, deeply dishonest. but on the everyday, we coexist just fine. i smoke my cigarettes outside and keep my secrets to myself. everyone here keeps their secrets to themselves. it is their way.

so jigsaw puzzles and red wine, it is. not so bad, she thinks. you never throw anything away because you don't know who you are, and just in case the real you is in that stuffed animal you got as a gift from someone you don't remember, you keep it in a box. outside your life, but not outside your potential self. just throw it away, she says. you don't need that anymore.