ignore the title; i know far too much about "the office" to be a healthy human being. but, at any rate, i'm back. and so is the blog. excited? should be ;)
we will begin with a few things that were never published, the last post i wrote in jordan (on my very ridiculous 21st birthday, during which i stayed home and drank wine with my lovely friends and sewed up my jordanpants so i could wear them on the plane and not be scandalous. i also spent the day taking jordan pictures, i should post those sometime. they are pretty. anyway, that is the first thing. and the second, which will be posted following this one, is what i wrote on the plane on the way back. so... here goes? cheers.
21 may 2009. 22:24
my last day in jordan. my last night in jordan.
and i am sinking, sinking, sinking in music. drowning in it, even. i see everything in fast forward, feathers on my breath, black flowers blossom. bloom and live and die and leave petals and all of it happens in an instant. wind in the tall grass, whispers in the trees. i don't even know where i am anymore.
everything is beautiful, everything is walking. walking, walking, step by step toward wherever it is we're going. wherever it is im going. ripples in the ground with every step, it can feel me too.if anything could ever be called god, and if anyone could ever say they heard it speak, this would be it. feeling the universe ripple with me while i walk on ground i've never seen before.
it is a transfiguration, if a quiet one. we are what we are, living or dead or more than either. red pills and blue pills mean nothing to me. it is a myth; there is no such choice. things like this are not so optional.
here we are, ground sky i dont know the difference. sinking somewhere, rising into somewhere else. and i am on the side of the pond. she grins, laughs a little, and then dives in and plunges to the bottom until she drowns or comes out the other side.
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